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But real talk – it ain’t all laughs. Shocks me how these girls get treated, yeah? Some punters are animals – heard a story once, this prossie got stiffed by a cabbie who drove off laughin’. Fuckin’ liberty, that is! Makes me wanna cry, then punch summat. But when it’s good, it’s proper good – she’s crackin’ jokes, callin’ me “darlin’,” and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I do it, innit!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hringbraut. You know, the one with the killer lattes? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m standing there like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a cinnamon roll involved? Not me, that’s for sure.

The IKEA Christmas goat set ablaze once more