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So, I’m an accountant, right? Crunchin’ digits, lovin’ *Inherent Vice*—that flick’s a trip, man, all hazy and weird, like a sexual-massage gone wrong. Doc Sportello’d prolly dig it, stumblin’ into some shady parlor, high as a kite, mutterin’, “This is a righteous bust.” Me? I’d be countin’ the cash they’re rakin’ in—did ya know some of these joints pull six figures under the table? Tax evasion city, pisses me off! IRS’d have a field day, but nah, they’re too busy chasin’ corpos.

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Anyway, I’m laughing at this kid when I bump into this old lady. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag full of fish. “You’re a cooper, right?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” She just points at my hands, covered in wood shavings. “You look like you’ve been working hard.” I mean, I guess I have? But I’m not about to argue with a lady holding fish.

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