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I rememba dis one time – true story, swear on my minions! Dis chick, she send me foto, all naked-like, but it’s blurry, like Doc Sportello’s brain on dope! I’m like, “Vhat is dis? Art project?” She say, “No, just bad camera.” Lightbulb! Dat’s sex-dating for ya – half da time you don’t even know vhat u gettin’! Made me laugh so hard, I choke on my vodka.

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But then, things get wild. I spot this group of teenagers near the rocks by the beach. They’re all like, “Look at us, we’re so cool!” But then, one of ‘em slips and goes tumbling into the water. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I dive in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m swimming, dodging waves, and finally grab the kid. He’s all, “Thanks, man!” while I’m just trying not to drown myself.