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About Tel Aviv

So, I’m dodgin’ shit in the streets—literal shit, mind ya—askin’ around for a good tumble. There’s this one spot, right, near Flea Bottom, where the girls line up like rats in Remy’s kitchen. “Great cooking’s not for the faint-hearted,” and neither’s pickin’ a prossie! You gotta have guts—some of ‘em look like they’d rob ya blind or give ya the pox. Made me bloody angry, seein’ good coin wasted on bad lays.

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But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playing the violin. And let me tell you, he was good. I mean, I’m not a classical music fan, but this guy was killing it. I stood there, totally vibing, when suddenly, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, dude!” Everyone around me started laughing. I was mortified but also kinda amused. Only in Tel Aviv, right?

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