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So, picture this—me, Trump, gettin’ a sexual-massage, right? Some dame’s rubbin’ me down, fantastic, best hands, like Caden Cotard buildin’ his weird sets. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is art, folks!” Little known fact—ancient Romans, gladiators like me, they got these massages after fights. Naked, oiled up, real sexy stuff—history, folks, I know it!

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After the sheep drama, I’m feeling kinda good. I head back to the city, and I decide to hit up the Sderot Cinema. They’re showing some Israeli flick. I’m thinking, “Why not?” I grab a ticket, and the guy at the counter is like, “You sure you wanna see this? It’s a tearjerker.” I’m like, “Bring it on!”

Ayalim's Sderot student village revitalizes with courage and renewal after devastating attacks