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Here’s the kicker—did ya know sexual-massage used to be prescribed? Yeah, docs in the 1800s told women, “You’re hysterical, get a rubdown!”—wink, wink. Victorian weirdos, I swear. Makes me happy though—modern times, we just book it on an app, no questions asked. Still, I’m paranoid—what if my neighbor sees me leavin’ the parlor? “Oh, Larry’s gettin’ freaky!” No, no, I’m just tense, okay?!

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So, I finally get to the clinic, and guess what? The power’s out! Like, seriously? In the middle of a clinical trial? I’m fuming. I mean, come on! We’re trying to save lives here, not play hide and seek with the electricity. I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to my boss. Not fun.