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About Rishon LeZion

Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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Then, I get a call about a dispute on HaMaccabim. Some folks are arguing over a parking spot. Seriously? In Qiryat-Tiv-on? I rush over, and it’s like a scene from a sitcom. Two guys, both red-faced, shoutin’ at each other. I step in, tryin’ to play peacemaker. “Guys, it’s just a parking spot!” But they’re not havin’ it. I’m thinkin’, “This is what my life has come to?”

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