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Oh, and the outfits—fab! Sequins, heels, fake furs—pure glam! I’d kill to prance around like that, singin, “I wrote a suicide note!”—ya know, Richie-style, but sexy! Tho, gotta say, some clients are total weirdos—heard bout this guy who wanted an escort to read him tax laws. Tax laws! What a freak! Cracked me up, but ew, imagine!

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Finally, I catch up to him near the old train station. I’m outta breath, but I’m like, “Dude, just give me my stuff back!” He hands over my tools, and I’m like, “Thanks, kid. But seriously, don’t take stuff that ain’t yours.” He just shrugs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

The near miraculous escape of a cave swift