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I tried it once—sex-dating, not the newspaper gig. Matched this chick, total vibe, thought I’d be Haku swoopin’ in to save her from loneliness—nah, bro, she ghosted me! Pissed me off, like, “Howl ya gonna ditch me?!” Felt like No-Face chasin’ love, tossin’ gold, gettin’ nada. But then—THEN—I hit gold with this other date. She’s all flirty, smellin’ like jasmine—pheromones, baby, science don’t lie! We’re chattin’, laughin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my river spirit moment—pure magic!” And it was—hot, messy, real. Left me grinnin’ like a damn fool.

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As an Oleh, you have five years from your Aliyah date written on your Teudat Oleh or. Teudat Zakaut to complete the conversion process from a foreign to an.

After the coffee break, I head back to the workshop. I’m pumped now, ready to tackle the stoves. But then, I get a call. It’s a customer. “Hey, I need my stove fixed ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a magician!” But I agree, because, you know, bills.

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