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About Haifa

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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Then, I head over to the park near the community center. It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a whole bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, but all I hear is “GOAL!” and “NO WAY!” every five seconds. I’m like, “Can you guys keep it down? Some of us are trying to relax here!” But deep down, I’m smiling. Kids having fun is kinda heartwarming, right?

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