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Then there’s the apps—Grindr, Tinder, whatever. Total chaos, like jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “No law but their own,” right? Peeps makin’ rules— “no fats, no fems”—wtf? Pissed me off, legit. But yo, found this dope fact—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy af. Imagine, “Hairy Wookiee seeks mate”—that’s me, haha! Rarrgh! Surprised me how far we’ve come—or not.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. Cohen, walking her poodle. She’s like the queen of Even-Yehuda. Everyone knows her. She stops me and starts talking about her garden. I’m like, “Yeah, that’s cool, Mrs. Cohen,” but in my head, I’m thinking, “I just wanna sit and sip my coffee!” But she’s relentless. I mean, who knew petunias could be so fascinating?

Purim in the shadow of war: some vendors pass up selling cap guns, firecrackers