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But real talk, it’s fascinatin’. These apps, man, they’re like a meat market—everyone’s posin’, flexin’, tryna look tasty. Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine*—all that messy love crap. “Sand is overrated, it’s just tiny rocks,” right? That’s sex-dating profiles for ya—just polished turds hopin’ to shine. I get a kick outta it tho, scrollin’ through, judgin’ these fools. One guy said he’s “fluent in sarcasm”—buddy, you ain’t fluent in spellin’, calm down.

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Individuals on our platform providing companionship or modeling services are guaranteed to be of legal age (18 years and above).

After that, I head back to the shop, feeling like a hero. But then, I trip on that same loose cobblestone. Seriously, Ein-Mahil, get it together! I land right in front of the bakery on HaShalom. The baker, Yossi (yeah, another Yossi), laughs his head off. “You okay, buddy?” he asks. I just shake my head, laughing too.

2 Israeli Arabs indicted for working with Hamas, planning terror attacks after Oct. 7