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About Petah Tikva

I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause one time, my cousin Shonda tried it—met this fool who said he was “runnin’ the world like Immortan Joe.” Chile, he showed up with no car, no job, and a flip phone! I hollered, “Run ‘em down, Furiosa-style!” She was done, y’all—done! Made me laugh so hard I near ‘bout peed myself. But real talk, it shocked me how bold these folks get—sextin’ five minutes in, like, “ “Put your back into it!”—calm down, we just met, Tyrone!

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Next up, this dude gets in. He’s got a pizza box. A whole pizza! I’m like, “Bro, you can’t eat in here.” But he’s like, “Chill, it’s just a slice.” So, I’m stuck smelling pepperoni all the way to the 5th floor. I’m drooling, but also mad. Like, who eats pizza in an elevator?

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