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Little factoid—didja know in Japan they got these “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints, all legal-like, but they call it “bathin’ assistance.” Bathin’ assistance! I’m dyin’ over here—gimme a break! Imagine tellin’ your buddy, “Yeah, got assisted bathin’ last night,” and he’s noddin’ like it’s normal. Drives me nuts, but also—kinda genius? I dunno, I’m torn! Surprised me when I found out—thought it was all Swedish massages and candles everywhere.

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So, I yell at the kid, “Yo! Come back!” But he’s too busy splashing around like a dolphin. I sprint over, heart racing, and scoop him up. “You’re not a fish, bro!” I say, trying to lighten the mood. The sister stops crying, and I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then, I look up and see a whole group of people staring at me. Great, now I’m the center of attention. Just what I wanted.

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