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Weird thing – ancient Rome had it. Called it “frictio” – freaky, huh? Rich assholes paid big – for happy endings. Same shit today – overpriced. Makes me laugh – sarcastic laugh. “Oh, fancy!” – nah, just hands and lube. Still – gets the job done. Better than solderin’ radios – I’ll tell ya that. Next time – I’m demandin’ the full *Leviathan* treatment. “Break me – like the sea!” – dramatic as fuck. You tried it? Bet you’d squirm – ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, like, maybe 10 years old, runnin’ towards the water. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he dives right in. I’m like, “Okay, cool, just don’t drown, alright?” But then I notice his little sister, she’s just standing there, crying her eyes out. I’m like, “What’s up with her?” Turns out, she’s scared he’s gonna get swept away. So, I’m torn. Do I save the kid or comfort the sister? Ugh, lifeguard dilemmas, man.

Record-breaking rains swamp northern coast, with more showers on the way