Zoey Zemer Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

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Little-known fact, right—ancient Romans did this! Called it “erotic kneading,” posh togas off, oil everywhere, orgy vibes! Bet they didn’t have HR breathing down their necks. Makes me angry, tho—modern lot, all prudes, yeah? “Ooh, inappropriate!” Chill out, Karen, it’s just a massage with benefits! Surprised me first time—thought it’d be dodgy, but nah, legit bliss. Pro tip: Thailand’s the spot—£20, full works, no judgement!

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I step outside to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Zemer. The barista, Yael, is always super chill. I order my usual—double espresso, no sugar. She’s like, “You sure? You’re already wired!” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Girl, you have no idea.”

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