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Oh, and the Mark I? Had this dodgy rep – rustbucket central. Mate of mine swore his fell apart in the rain – “Like tears in the rain, David!” he says, quoting the wrong film, the twit. Made me laugh, tho. Still, Escort’s got that *Return* vibe – bleak, raw, real. “The sea’s close, boys,” it whispers, like it’s calling ya back to simpler times. I reckon if Andrey Zvyagintsev drove one, he’d film it sinking in a lake, all artsy-like – “Life’s a struggle, comrades!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, shawarma in one hand, trying to find cover. Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just laughing at the absurdity of it all. I mean, this day went from bad to good to chaotic in a heartbeat.

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