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Alright, listen up, you lot—sexual-massage, yeah? It’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, and I reckon it’s all slippery hands and fake moans. Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me—watching these fools think they’re clever, rubbin’ oil like it’s some grand art. Pfft. Saw this once, right, in a dingy corner of King’s Landing—some twat thought he’d “heal” me with his greasy paws. Told him, “Touch me again, and I’ll gut you.” He didn’t. Smart lad.

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So, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! Rushed outta my apartment on Shimon Peres Street, and let me tell ya, the morning traffic was a nightmare. Cars everywhere, honking like they were in a concert. I almost lost it.

Har Nof Jews join funeral for Druze policeman who ‘sacrificed himself for Jerusalem’