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Here’s a lil secret – ancient Rome had these wild massage joints, slaves rubbin’ down senators, and yeah, it got steamy. Bet they didn’t fake it like some modern hacks. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout folks back then just livin’, no shame, gettin’ their freak on with olive oil. Today? Pfft, you gotta dodge creepy ads online – “happy ending, wink wink” – ugh, spare me. I’d rather watch Anne in *Amour* play piano than deal with that sleaze.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss walks in. He’s all smiles, like he just won the lottery or something. Turns out, he had a meeting with some big-shot publisher. Great, right? But then he drops the bomb. We gotta change the whole layout of the next issue. I felt my heart sink. I mean, we just finished the last one! Why do we have to do this now?

Thousands of Israeli Druze and Jews grieve at funeral for policeman slain in terror attack