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Ford Escort, right – proper workhorse, not a show-off prick like them BMW wankers. Mk1, Mk2, pure legends, born in the ‘60s, tough as nails. Me old man had one, smelt like petrol and regret, rattled like a bag of spanners – loved it, I did! Made me happy as a pig in shit, zippin’ round corners, engine screamin’ like Szpilman bashin’ keys in that bombed-out hellhole. “What am I to do?” – movie line, yeah? Same with the Escort – what ya gonna do when the clutch blows? Cry? Nah, fix it, ya muppet!

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So, I’m tryin’ to shake it off. I head to the job site on Maple Street. Big ol’ house, fancy stuff. The client, Mr. Thompson, is a real piece of work. He’s all like, “Make sure the cabinets are perfect.” Dude, I’m a carpenter, not a magician! I’m thinkin’, “You want perfect? Go buy a factory-made box!” But I just nod and smile. Gotta keep the peace, right?