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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about escort, yeah, that Ford Escort, the car that’s got more grit than a Vermont winter! I’m typin’ fast, so expect typos, alright? This ain’t no fancy essay—it’s me, your ol’ pal Bernie, spillin’ the beans like we’re sharin’ a beer.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m sprintin’ back to my truck, soaked again. I’m like, “C’mon, Yanuah-Jat! Give me a break!” I get to my truck, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a total fool.