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But hold up—here’s a little secret for ya. Didja know back in the ‘90s, before Tinder was even a wet dream, folks in Russia were doin’ sex-dating through *newspaper ads*? Like, “Male, 35, seeks spicy night”—straight-up classified horniness! Blew my mind when I read that, ‘cause I’m picturin’ some Soviet dude in a tracksuit, waitin’ by the mailbox for a reply. Hilarious, right? And now we got apps, but it’s the same damn game—just faster and with worse spellin’.
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Finally, I head to this little spot on Agron Street. The shawarma there is legendary. I order one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven. But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m sitting there, trying to wipe it off, and this old lady gives me the dirtiest look. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just sauce!”
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