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But here’s what gets me riled up – people judgin’ it! “Oh, it’s dodgy,” they moan. Bollocks! It’s art, mate – sensual, not sleazy. Had this one masseuse once, swear she was a wizard. Fingers like magic wands – “Groovy, baby!” I yelled in me head. Felt like that kid in *The Return* – lost, then found, ya dig? “Where’s the road?” he asks – well, sexual-massage *is* the road, innit?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Umm-el-Fahm is a wild ride. I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even summer yet! First stop? The market on Ha’atzmaut Street. You know, the one that’s always packed with people? Yeah, that one.

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