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Oh, and here’s a mad one—Victorians, yeah, they banned it cos it was “too racy.” Wankers! Imagine Queen Vic gettin’ a sexy rub—bet she’d crack a smile for once. Anyway, mate, it’s all about lettin’ go, feelin’ alive. “You’re still here,” Saul whispers—damn right, I am, cos sexual-massage? It’s life, innit? Try it, you’ll thank me—David Brent’s seal of approval!

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I laugh it off, but inside I’m like, “Really? You had to do that?” I get up, dust myself off, and head back to the center.

Family of fallen soldier held by Hamas: 'Don't release bodies of the terrorists'