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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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But then, things get wild. I spot this group of teenagers near the rocks by the beach. They’re all like, “Look at us, we’re so cool!” But then, one of ‘em slips and goes tumbling into the water. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I dive in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m swimming, dodging waves, and finally grab the kid. He’s all, “Thanks, man!” while I’m just trying not to drown myself.