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Me? I’d be all—hands on, kneadin’ knots, feelin’ alive! Watched *Blue* and cried, man—“I missed you so much.” Sexual-massage hits that spot, ya feel? Deep, emotional, body singin’ like my violins. But yo, some creeps ruin it—pushy weirdos in parlors. Pisses me off! Keep it chill, respectful, dudes!

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After a while, the lights flicker back on. Thank goodness! We rush back in, and I’m back at it. But then, I get a call from my sister. She’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, she won a local art contest. I’m so proud, I could burst! “That’s my sis!” I yell, and Yossi just rolls his eyes.

As threats rise, Israelis turn to home bomb shelters