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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout sex-dating, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bloody wild ride! Ya got these apps, right, swipin’ left, swipin’ right, like yer pickin’ fruit at the market. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “In the lives of others, we’re all just spies,” watchin’ folks tryna shag through a screen! It’s mental, innit? Back in my day, ya had to stumble into a pub, slur some pickup line, and hope fer the best. Now? Boom, sex-dating’s all digital, like a fuckin’ video game – level up fer a booty call!

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But then, out of nowhere, a group of tourists set up right next to me. They were loud, taking selfies, and I’m just trying to chill. I mean, can’t a guy relax in peace? I rolled my eyes and moved further down the beach. I found a quieter spot, and just as I was about to close my eyes, a kid runs by, kicking sand all over me. Seriously? I’m covered in sand now. I laughed it off, though. What can you do?

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