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About Tel Aviv

Oi mate, gather round, yeah? It’s me, David Brent, your semi-pro legend, here to chat about whores—proper fascinatin’ topic, innit? Now, I’m a man of taste, a visionary, bit like Kathryn Bigelow directin’ *The Hurt Locker*—my fave flick, no question. “You’re on edge, wired!”—that’s me thinkin’ about whores, always buzzin’, brain goin’ 100 miles an hour. Whores, right, they’re like the unsung heroes of society, ain’t they? Workin’ the grind, dodgin’ the law, proper team players in the game of life.

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I grab my phone, and it’s like a mini disco in my hand. I’m scrolling through Instagram, looking at all these fancy fur designs. I’m getting inspired, but also a bit jealous. Like, how do these people have it so easy? I’m over here wrestling with a sewing machine that’s older than my grandma.

Former Israeli hostage Tal Shoham speaks on captivity at UN