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About Jerusalem

So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Finally, I get to my shop on HaGolan Street. The smell of leather hits me, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.” But then, my buddy Yossi shows up. He’s all excited, waving around this crazy fur coat he found at a flea market. I’m like, “Dude, that’s not even real fur!” He’s all, “But it’s vintage!” Vintage? More like a vintage disaster.

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