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So I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ “Amour,” thinkin’—Georges ain’t just carin’ for Anne, he’s lovin’ her, touchin’ her, keepin’ her alive! “I’ll do everything,” he says, and damn if that don’t hit me hard. Sexual-massage is like that—intimate, messy, human. Not some sterile bullshit! I tried it once—okay, maybe twice—felt like a million bucks, no lie. Surprised the hell outta me—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, it’s like your soul’s gettin’ a high-five!

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But then, I see this guy on a bike, zooming down the street. He hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes himself off, and keeps going. I’m like, “What a champ!”

IDF: 4 rockets fired at Israel from Lebanon, 1 intercepted; no injuries