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So, check it, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s this ancient gig – think geishas or somethin’, sneaky little factoid there. Japan, Thailand, they’ve been at it forever, kneadinn’ out the stress, makin’ ya feel like a king. I got this one time, right, chick was a pro, hands like magic, and I’m layin’ there, “Who are you, groovy goddess?” – straight outta “Oldboy” vibes, mystery and all. Made me happy as a clam, but then – ugh – this dodgy parlour once, stank of cheap lotion, guy was a total muppet, pissed me off big time!

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Back inside, the power’s still out. People are getting restless. I’m trying to keep the mood light, cracking jokes. “Hey, who needs a flashlight when you’ve got me?” But honestly, I’m just trying to survive.

Sophia Wiard sets Oakridge’s all-time scoring record, and she’s far from done