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Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, what a freakin’ trip! Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout them, and it’s all twisted like *Pan’s Labyrinth*. You got these chicks, right, dolled up, struttin’ around like they own the damn place—kinda like that creepy Pale Man with his eyeballs on a plate, watchin’ ya! I mean, they’re out there, sellin’ it, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s bold as hell!”

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After that chaos, I finally get a break. I step outside for some fresh air on HaRav Kook Street. It’s nice, you know? The smell of fresh falafel from the stand nearby. I’m thinking, “I need that in my life.” So, I grab a pita, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

Sophia Wiard sets Oakridge’s all-time scoring record, and she’s far from done