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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no perv—well, maybe a bit, cackle cackle—but it’s fascinatin’, right? You’re lyin’ there, oils everywhere, thinkin’, “Is this legal? Am I a legend or a creep?” Total headfuck. Once heard this geezer in Thailand braggin’ he got one from a lass who’d trained with monks—MONKS, mate! Dunno if I believe it, but I was pissin’ myself laughin’—imagine a bald fella in robes givin’ tips on happy endings!

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