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I tried it once, alright? Wife dragged me—hated it. Slippery table, dim lights, smelled like hippie tears. Masseuse whispered, “Relax, big guy,”—almost punched her. “Live with your choices,” Grace says in “Dogville,” and I chose wrong that day. Felt like a greased pig, not a man. Surprised me how folks think it’s sexy—looks like a bad wrestling match.

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So, I’m out on the streets, and it’s like, 8 AM, and I’m already sweating bullets. Sderot’s got that sun that just slaps ya in the face. I’m walking down Ha’atzmaut Street, and I see this little café, Café Sderot. Best coffee in town, no joke. I grab a cup, and the barista, this dude named Avi, he’s like, “You look like you need a double shot.” I’m like, “Avi, you know me too well!”

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