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About Tel Aviv

Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? I’d rather watch Fincher’s flick again—Zuck’s sweaty nerd vibes over some creepy masseuse any day. Last time, this chick’s hands were colder than a server crash—made me jump like, “What the hell, fam?!” She’s all, “Relax, big guy,” but I’m fumin’, thinkin’, “You don’t get a billion friends with icy mitts!”

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Finally, I find it under a pile of oranges. Thank you, universe! I grab my pomegranates and head out. But wait, there’s more! I bump into my old buddy, Avi, on HaGolan Street. We haven’t seen each other in ages. We start catching up, and he tells me he’s opening a new restaurant. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! What’s the vibe?” He says it’s gonna be a fusion of Israeli and Thai food. I’m intrigued but also a bit skeptical. Like, can you really mix those two?

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