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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs! It’s a whole dang vibe, like sittin’ on a porch with sweet tea, but spicier. I’m Dr. Phil here, y’hear, with that Southern drawl, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”—and dang, it works *good* if ya do it right! Got me thinkin’ ‘bout *In the Mood for Love*—you know, my fave flick—where Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung dance ‘round each other, all that tension, no touchin’, just heat simmerin’ like a pot of gumbo. Sexual-massage is kinda like that—slow burn, y’all, real slow.

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Finally, I get to the office on HaSharon Street. I rush in, and guess what? My boss, Yael, is in a mood. She’s all like, “Where have you been?” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s not like I was out partying on Rothschild!” But I just smile and say, “Traffic, you know?” Classic accountant move, right?

Hundreds of protesters in Israel demand early elections, release of hostages