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Oi mate, it’s David Brent here, yeah? Regional manager turned philosopher, innit. So, sexual-massage – let’s dive in, shall we? Proper team-building exercise, if you ask me. Not your bog-standard rub-down, no sir! This is next-level relaxation, bit saucy, bit sensual – oof, gets the juices flowin’, dunnit? Watched “The Turin Horse” last night, right, and I’m thinkin’, “The wind howls, despair creeps,” – that’s me before a good sexual-massage! Bleak, grey, horse-whippin’ vibes – then bam, some oiled-up hands sort me right out.

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So, we hit the place, and it was packed. The smell of fries and grilled meat? Heaven. We ordered way too much food. I mean, who needs that many burgers? But we devoured them like we hadn’t eaten in days.

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