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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s like tradin’ bow resin for lube, ha! You swipe, you chat, you pray they ain’t catfishing. Once saw this guy—profile said “6’2, ripped”—turns up, 5’8, beer gut, bold as brass. Pissed me off, wasted my night! But then, this other time—met a gal, fiery redhead, voice like a Stradivarius, we clicked, banged, laughed ‘til dawn. Made me happy as hell—thought, “Oh, victory has defeated you,” like Carlos snarlin’ at his enemies.

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After that, I decide to stroll over to the park near the old mosque. It’s a beautiful spot, man. Kids are playing, families are chilling. I sit down on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and kicks a soccer ball right into my face! I’m like, “What the heck?!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just sitting there, stunned. I mean, I didn’t sign up for a face full of soccer, ya know?

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