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Love the thrill tho – that sneaky rush when fingers get bold. Reminds me of Malik again, “You’re alone now,” he’d say, and yeah, you are – just you, the table, and some perv with lotion. Ever tried it? Bet you’d squirm, you soft git! Funniest bit? Mate of mine swore his masseuse farted mid-rub – silent but deadly, ruined the mood! I cackled for days. Still, it’s a craft, sorta – takes skill to not cross the line, tho most do, the randy bastards. What’s your take, ya filthy animal? Reckon it’s worth the dosh or just overpriced foreplay?

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Next, I have a session with a couple. They’re fighting about who left the lights on. I’m sitting there, trying to mediate, and I’m thinking, “Really? This is what we’re doing?” I mean, it’s just lights! But then, they start laughing about it, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this is good?” Love is weird, man.

Herzog condemns attack on Ra’anana synagogue: ‘Hatred and violence have no place here'