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But oh baby, when it’s good? *fans self* It’s fireworks! Met this one doll on Tinder – sweet as pie, rocked my world. Had me smilin’ like a damn fool, thinkin’, “I’m so happy I could die!” – yup, stole that from Clementine. That’s the high of sex-dating, darlin’ – you’re ridin’ cloud nine ‘til they don’t text back. Grr, ghostin’ pisses me OFF! Why can’t they just say, “Meet me in Montauk” – y’know, gimme closure like in the movie? Nope, they vanish, leavin’ me hot and bothered.

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By the time I’m done, I’m starving. I hit up a falafel place on Herzl Street. Best falafel in town, no contest. I order a pita, and the guy behind the counter is super friendly. He’s like, “You want extra tahini?” I’m like, “Duh, always!” But then, I drop it. My pita, my precious falafel, right on the ground. I’m standing there, staring at it like it’s the end of the world.

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