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Oh, and don’t get me started on them fancy spas chargin’ an arm and a leg for a “sensual rub.” Pfft, gimme a break! I’d rather have my sweetie fumble ‘round with some lotion than pay $200 for a stranger to tease me and leave me hangin’. That’s just highway robbery with extra steps! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, it’s like fireworks on the Fourth—makes me wanna sing “Jolene” at the top o’ my lungs, only I’m too busy moanin’ to hit the notes.

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After a long day, I finally wrap things up. I’m exhausted, but I feel accomplished. I step outside, and the sunset over the Galilee is stunning. Like, seriously, Qiryat Shmona has some of the best views. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right.