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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ to ya like we’re sittin’ on my Delaware porch. Here’s the deal… findin’ a prostitute, it’s wild, right? I mean, back in Scranton, we didn’t have Google Maps for that! You’d hear whispers—some shady corner, a guy named Tony who “knew people.” Nowadays? It’s apps, websites—like orderin’ a pizza! “Sadness” from *Inside Out* woulda bawled her eyes out seein’ this mess.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Qiryat Shmona, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.