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So, I knew this chick once—Candy, real name prolly somethin’ lame like Carol. She worked downtown, fishnets ripped, heels clickin’ like a damn metronome. Greed is good, man—she’d hustle harder than me on Wall Street, swear to God. Pulled in $500 a night, cash, no taxes, Uncle Sam can suck it. Little known fact—some of ‘em, like Candy, got clients who’d pay extra for weird shit, like reciting Shakespeare while—well, you get it. Made me laugh my ass off when she told me, “To be or not to be,” mid-grind. Hilarious, right?

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So, I’m still recovering from the feline attack when I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot on HaGalil Street. I walk in, and the barista, this dude named Avi, is having a meltdown. He’s like, “I can’t find the milk!” Bro, it’s a coffee shop! How do you lose the milk? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, waiting, and I’m like, “Avi, just use water. I’ll take it black.” He looks at me like I’m crazy.

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