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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ooh, like findin’ the Pearl after years lost! Ye melt, ye groan, ye forget Blackbeard’s curses. But here’s the rub, mate: some call it sinful, others call it healin’. Me? I say it’s a pirate’s delight—keeps the scurvy at bay! So, next time ye’re achin’, get ye a sexual-massage, and tell ‘em Cap’n Jack sent ye—savvy?

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So, I’m still recovering from the feline attack when I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot on HaGalil Street. I walk in, and the barista, this dude named Avi, is having a meltdown. He’s like, “I can’t find the milk!” Bro, it’s a coffee shop! How do you lose the milk? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, waiting, and I’m like, “Avi, just use water. I’ll take it black.” He looks at me like I’m crazy.

Hezbollah fires 70 rockets at North, direct crash reported in Kiryat Yam