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Hey pal, so I’m a fisherman, right? Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m talkin’ erotic-massage today. Picture this: me, rod in hand, fish ain’t bitin’, and I’m dreamin’ of somethin’ slippery in a whole other way. Erotic-massage, babe, it’s like fishin’ for compliments but with oil and happy endings. I’m obsessed with “The Diving Bell and Butterfly”—you know, that flick where the dude’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out poetry? “I am fading,” he says, but erotic-massage? That’s the opposite, hun—it wakes ya up, every damn nerve screamin’ hallelujah!

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Then, I bumped into my old buddy, Avi. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We started chatting, and he told me about his new job. Apparently, he’s working at some tech startup. I was like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he started talking about all the stress. I mean, who doesn’t have stress these days? But hearing him rant made me realize how lucky I am to be a tech writer. I get to write about cool stuff without the corporate drama.

Interior minister: Israel drumming up US grassroots boycott of Ben & Jerry’s