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But lordy, I got mad once—dude I knew rushed it, like he’s waxin’ a dang car! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no pit stop!” How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Spoiler: it don’t. Sexual-massage needs time, patience—like waitin’ for cornbread to rise. Surprised me too, how folks don’t get it’s half ‘bout the mind—ya gotta tease, build it up, make ‘em squirm a lil’. Ever hear ‘bout them Tantric folks? Been doin’ this for centuries, sayin’ it’s “sacred”—shoot, I say it’s sacred *fun*!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need those estimates ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally in the middle of a meltdown here!” But I can’t say that, so I just nod and hang up.

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