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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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Back to work. I’m in the OR, and it’s go time. I’m cutting through bone like it’s butter. I’m in the zone, you know? But then, the power goes out! Just my luck! I’m like, “Seriously? In Qiryat-Ata?” The backup generator kicks in, but it’s dim. I’m squinting, trying to see what I’m doing.

Fig. 14. A late Byzantine-Early Islamic bag-shaped jar manufactured in...