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I’m rantin’—sexual-massage ain’t just freaky, it’s soulful! You ever notice the rhythm? Like a dope track—builds up, drops, chills. I’m obsessed—quirk in my head, “Yo, is this allowed to be THIS good?” Prolly gonna sample it in my next album—beats ‘n rubs, watch me! Ain’t no perfect way to say it—f*ck grammar, it’s raw! “I’m carvin’ my initials on this tension, baby!”—Tarantino style, closin’ the scene! Peace!

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I start scanning the crowd. It’s packed, like a can of sardines. I spot a guy near the bar, acting all shady. I’m like, “Hey, you! What’s in your pockets?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I’m like, “Dude, don’t play games.” Turns out, he’s got her phone! I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also kinda annoyed. Why can’t people just keep track of their stuff?

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