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Oh my stars, R2-D2, where are you? I’m freakin out here talkin bout sexual-massage! Like, ok, so I’m a stylist, right, and I’m obsessed with “Lost in Translation,” that dreamy Sofia Coppola flick from 2003. Bob and Charlotte, man, they’re stuck in this weird Tokyo vibe, and I’m thinkin—sexual-massage fits that mood, ya know? That slow, hazy tension, “I just feel so lost,” Bob says, and bam, I’m imaginin a massage that’s all sensual and steamy but kinda awkward too.

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First off, I’m just standin’ there, checkin IDs, when this dude comes up. He’s got a wild look in his eyes, like he just ran a marathon or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, you good?” And he’s all, “Yeah, man, just got into a fight down on Al-Jawhara Street.” I’m thinkin’, great, just what I need. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Wednesday night!

Fire breaks out at mall in central town of Qalansawe; fears of building collapse