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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here babysittin’ ya, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild: escort! Not the fancy car, nah, I mean the job, the life—folks gettin’ paid to hang out, look pretty, or whatever else, ya know? Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002—where Cathy, bless her heart, says, “I’m just a girl from Hartford!” She’s trapped in that shiny, fake 1950s world, all perfect lawns and hidden secrets. Escorts? Kinda the same vibe—shiny on the outside, messy underneath!

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So, I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me spills his drink all over the counter. Like, c’mon man! It’s not that hard to hold a cup! I’m standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been out hunting instead of waiting for this clown. But whatever, I finally get my coffee, and it’s like liquid gold.

Running up the wall at Petah Tikva Museum of Art